Work life balance: the idea of having time to fulfill all the things that matter to you within a day, month, year, or lifetime.
What are those things that matter? Family, side business, church, community, kid’s activities, dreams, etc. Time for work and time for play.
Balance is NOT about giving an equal amount of time to each category of your life (like spending 8 hours at work and 8 hours with your family).
The desire for balance comes naturally when your life is out of balance. The truth is that your soul knows what you really want and knows when things don’t feel right.
Your soul wants to stop working at 5pm (or sooner) so you can spend time with your family. When you stay later or do more work at home while you ignore your kids, your soul speaks up.
It says “I want to be with the family, my kids are growing older and I’m missing out on their life.”
Or it says “I want to get going on that side gig, it’s what I really love.”
The more you listen to your heart, the more you will see what it really wants.
While going to school at Brigham Young University, I remember plenty of times when leaders and entrepreneurs would come and visit the school.
They would have panel discussions where students could ask questions and get answers.
One of the questions I asked most often was how they managed to create balance between work, family, and church responsibilities?
The answers I received were varied. To be honest, I don’t remember any of them. They never shared anything new or transformative.
It wasn’t until I went to the temple and I had the thought to ask an older fellow about how to find balance in life.
I figured that most old men were wise so I leaned over to an old guy who was sitting next to me and said “How do you find balance in life?”
He paused for a moment and then gave his one sentence response that blew me away.
“Do we find balance, or do we create balance?”
I remember sitting there, stunned, thinking about the question.
The truth is, you have full control over what you do with your life. Some of you don’t believe that because you think “I HAVE to go to work,” “I HAVE to do my calling at church,” “I HAVE to pick up my kids from practice.”
You don’t HAVE to do any of those things. You could just stop going to work. You could say no to a calling. You could have someone else pick up the kids.
So if you want to have balance. It’s totally possible.
You just need to take ownership of your life and your time.
You need to recognize that you can CREATE BALANCE whenever you choose.
Many of my clients struggle with creating time for themselves. They are great at working and often prioritize working, but when I ask them to set aside FREE TIME for themselves every single day, they can’t do it.
You may find yourself in the same boat. Where the idea of having free time for yourself feels like wasting time or feels like a luxury.
Or you have so much work to do that time for yourself is the last thing on the list. It always gets pushed to later.
It’s easy to procrastinate personal time for yourself.
It’s easy to put off rest.
It’s easy to put off time for exercise.
And yet these are the things that will create more balance in your life. These are the things that will help you FEEL better about life.
I remember working at AT&T and feeling guilty for leaving work before others. I had been taught by parents, teachers, and movies that working LONGER was BETTER.
That staying later is a noble thing to do and shows how dedicated you are to the company.
That spending more TIME with work = more RESULTS.
Only after I was coached did I realize the ONLY thing that truly matters are results.
My coach said, if one dentist offered to fix your teeth for $1,000 and it took 10 minutes and another dentist offered the same result for $1,000 and it took 2 hours, which would you choose?
Of course you would choose to have the result in 10 minutes. Even though it costs the same and takes so little time!
All that matters in work is creating results. If you can create those results in less time, then that’s all you need to worry about.
But if you are anything like me, you get results in less time, but you still feel like you need to FILL EVERY SINGLE MINUTE WITH WORK.
That you are not working if you aren’t DOING SOMETHING.
So instead of taking a break or being done for the day, you keep working. You keep filling your life with more work in hopes that you will someday get ahead enough to take a break.
This is not productive.
This is not good for your health.
This is NOT what it means to be a good worker.
And until you can see this and become aware of it, it will remain your default behavior.
As The BIGGER PROBLEM you face (and many others) is that you don’t really know what you want.
You don’t have your soul’s desires and wants written down and thought about.
Instead you are living someone else’s dreams.
I recently met with a guy who had no idea what he wanted to do with his career. His parents pressured him to get good grades even though he hated school.
He blindly followed his parent’s desires in order to feel loved and accepted by them.
He consistently listened to others priorities OUTSIDE of himself instead of listening to his own interests and passions WITHIN himself.
This led to a total disconnect from his soul. He had the hardest time sharing with me what he wanted. It’s as though he was so busy living a life for others that he didn’t even know himself.
Many people get OFF BALANCE when they take on OTHER PEOPLE’S priorities.
So instead of exercising, you answer and address emails.
Instead of working on your side business, you answer a call from your bishop to go help someone move in down the street.
Instead of playing with your kids, you watch the next episode of The Flash that your friend talked about (or watch the news, or the stock market, or play a game on your phone, or check your social media).
Regardless, your world is filled with OUTSIDE INFLUENCES that are throwing you OFF BALANCE and out of alignment.
One of the best keys to solving for this misalignment is to learn that balance is a FEELING.
Ideally, you want to reach a point in your life where you FEEL GREAT about your progress and how you fulfill your responsibilities.
The problem though is that you think you need everything to be perfect in order to achieve balance.
There seems to be this perfect amount of time for every aspect of your life. And when you have given the right amount of time to each thing, THEN you will be happy.
This way doesn’t work well because balance is dependent on the person.
Some people like to have more time for family, while others actually want to work more (because they love their job).
The issue of balance is answered by the question of whether you feel like you are meeting all the demands and roles that matter to you.
If you are fulfilling what matters to you, then you will feel balanced. If you aren’t, then you will feel unbalanced.
If you are listening and HONORING what you truly value, then you will always feel balanced.
Your SOUL knows where your time should be spent. The more you listen to it and honor your soul’s desires, the more balanced you will feel.
To put it simply, the solution to your work life balance problem is this:
Step 1: Write down what you really WANT in all areas of your life.
Step 2: Ponder and write down the steps to fulfill those wants
Step 3: Schedule and honor those action steps.
If you’ve made it this far, then my guess is that you are OFF BALANCE and that doing the steps above is easier said than done.
You have likely tried to manage your time with all sorts of self development tools…and it’s still not working.
You are likely overwhelmed because you are spending too much time at work and have very little time for yourself or your family.
Just think for a moment what will happen if you continue on in this way….
You’ll likely become physically sick (due to all the stress and overwhelm)
You’ll likely hate life (you probably already do)
You’ll likely want to quit your job (even though there’s a better way to alleviate the pressure)
Now imagine what it would be like to create balance in your daily schedule.
Where you have time for yourself
Where you have time for your family
Where you have time to create the life you want
Where you feel aligned to your values and regularly schedule time to fulfill them
Those who create work-life balance end up feeling more fulfilled and have greater success.
Luckily there are resources and coaches out there to help you create this.
If you want to solve these problems and create more balance in your life, then you need a coach.
This is what I do for all my clients. I help them understand what they really want and how to create the balanced life they desire.
I help them see what their soul is yearning for, get those desires on the calendar, and then help them follow through on what they value.
I share time management tools that actually work (because they support your mental game)
I can do the same for you. Let me be your guide. Sign up for a FREE DISCOVERY CALL and see for yourself.