You know you are out of balance when…
…You are overwhelming yourself with everything you have to do.
…You are in a constant panic about getting everything done
…You are waking up and immediately checking email, social media, or the news.
…You are working from 7am–6pm and then some more after dinner
…You feel a general sense of rushing around from place to place and are always looking to fit something else in
…You can’t remember what you did today because it’s all a blur of action
Put simply – It’s go, go, go and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.
Your soul keeps telling you to slow down, take a break, spend time with the family, but you are too worried that you will fall behind if you slow down…so you don’t.
On the flip side of things, you know your life is in balance when…
…You don’t feel resentful towards anyone or anything for taking your time because where you are is where you have chosen to be
…You feel at peace with what you are doing with your time
…You feel like many of the areas of your life are getting time and attention
…Even though there may be things left undone, you are not in a rush
…You feel calm and collected each day as you execute on your plans
An easier way to think about this is that there are genuine wants and desires you have, and you are either fulfilling them or not.
When you are NOT fulfilling the desires of your soul, you will feel a sense of IMBALANCE.
There will be something that pricks your heart that says, “I want to change this part of my life.”
And don’t tell me that this doesn’t happen.
You wouldn’t be reading this article if there wasn’t something out of alignment in your life.
So let me share how to get into the life in balance.
Step 1: Know What You Want & Why:
You have to understand what it is that you want. You need to know what your soul is yearning for.
And not just what you want, but why you want it. Think about the job you are hiring your desires to do.
For example, I personally want a Tesla, but why? What problem does the Tesla solve in my life?
It solves the problem of having to go get oil changes, or go to the gas station.
It provides fun and a way to get from point A to point B.
Essentially it’s a transportation method that requires less maintenance, increases how cool I feel, and helps me get around.
Let’s use a different example of wanting more time with your family, since that’s a common thing many of my clients want.
Why do you want more time with your family?
If you are like me, the reason is because you like being around them. You want to be an active part in your children’s life and want them to know you support them.
Let’s take this reason a little deeper. Why is it important for you to spend time with your children?
Because you want to be a part of their life. You want to be a positive influence on them. You want them to know they can come to you if they experience challenges in their life. You want them to trust you. You want to help them succeed in life. You want them to learn and develop their talents and to add value to the world.
Why is it important that you help your kids learn and develop their talents?
Because that is why we are here. You want to be involved in the process of helping them fulfill their purpose.
Why is it important that you are involved in helping them fulfill their purpose?
Because you believe that’s one of your roles as a father, to be a leader and guide, to help them make good choices and learn how to listen to the spirit.
So if you want to be a part of their life, help them make good choices, and help them find their talents, then what kinds of actions will support this result?
What if it’s not just time? Because having time and being in the presence of your children is great, but does it create the result of you helping them make good choices and helping them find their talents? Maybe not.
The important thing here is that you get clear on what you want and why you want it.
When you dive a little bit deeper than just the surface level WHY, then you start to uncover what’s really important to you about this area of your life.
And the more clarity you create around these areas of your life, the easier it is to think of the solutions that will allow you to fulfill those desires.
It’s kind of like giving someone directions to find your house. You could give them super vague instructions, like “go southwest” which could lead them to who knows where.
You could give them fairly good directions like, we live in Texas, which narrows things down. Then you share the city, then the exact address.
Once you have the exact address, your brain (the computer) can find a way to get there. And what’s even more fun is that with an exact end location determined, you can open yourself to all the ways of getting there.
There are often multiple routes to get to one location. What if you took a plane instead? What if you biked there? What if you took a train?
Step 2: Become Your Future You
A pro tip you can use to really some insights is to imagine the end goal of what you want.
Imagine what it looks and feels like to have an amazing relationship with your children. What’s happening? What are you doing? What are they doing? How do you feel about each other?
Close your eyes and imagine all the details of the life you want with your children as if it was real. As if it is the life you have now with them.
As you imagine this reality, act as if you are saying a prayer of gratitude that this is your life. That you are so lucky to have such a great relationship with your children and how fun it is to be able to watch them grow and learn and excel in their talents.
Now, after feeling the gratitude in your body, ask God what things you can do to start creating that experience. Allow yourself to be open to ideas that no one has ever thought of before
Step 3: Stack Your Wants
Take the time to repeat step 1 and 2 for all areas of your life – spiritual, social, love relationship, parenting, physical, mental, emotional, character, quality of life, etc.
Think through why those things are important to you, just like we did above.
Then open yourself to the idea that every single thing that you want, God wants to give you.
That he wants to provide these desires for you and that there are creative ways to make it happen.
For example, you may also have the desire to travel the world. And so you combine your desire to travel the world with your desire to connect with your children.
Now there are new solutions that will come up when you entertain that both are possible.
Traveling the world with your family may seem impossible to you right now because you think of all the things that stand in the way – like how to manage school for your kids, and how to still work or make money, or how to ensure that everyone is safe and taken care of in a new country.
Each of these obstacles are problems you can give your believing brain the chance to solve. Because when you expect that God wants you to fulfill all these desires and that he wants to give you revelation on how to make it happen, then revelation will come.
All that’s required of you is to ask and receive, knock and let the way be opened unto you.
Step 4: Listen
This step naturally flows from the other steps but it deserves your attention.
So often you say the same prayer. You rehearse the same “please bless our family with safety” and “please help me to more patient with my children” and “please bless the missionaries that they can find those who are searching for the truth.”
It’s not a conversation.
And even though you know you need to make it a conversation, it’s hard.
You try and ask questions, but don’t really listen long enough to hear a response. Or your mind wanders to the thousands of other things on your mind until you realize you are off track.
At this point you just want to quickly finish the prayer because you don’t really want to receive any answers and would rather get to sleep or do something other than praying.
You are secretly afraid of receiving answers because you are scared of what the response will be, that you will actually have to DO something uncomfortable.
So you give up on making prayer a conversation and thus receive no guidance or revelation.
Sound about right? I only know this because it’s a personal experience.
I’ll tell you though…when you start telling God what you want and why, and then listen to his insight, you will be blown away by the innovative ideas that come.
Pro tip: Use a paper and pen when talking with God. Write out your prayers and write out the answers.
Step 5: Honor the Insight
Once you have written down the insights, you’ll need to put them on the calendar and then honor them.
When you honor action items from God, you win.
You discover more and create more with your life.
You naturally build a better relationship with God and discover yourself in the process.
It’s simple, but it’s not easy.
Mainly because the things that God is going to ask you to do will likely be out of your comfort zone.
And your (everyone’s) brain doesn’t like to go outside the comfort zone.
I’ll talk more about how to deal with the comfort zone in another article, but if you are honoring the action items you feel inspired to take, there is only good things coming your way.
One of the best choices I’ve made to create more balance in my life was to get a coach.
Someone on the outside that could see my problems and know how to challenge what I believe.
If you are looking for a work life balance coach or a life balance counselor, you can sign up for a FREE Strategy Call where I can help you learn how to create the balance you desire.
The life you want is not going to come from some wellness living center where you are put on a schedule and treatment plan to improve your health.
It’s not going to come from daily yoga or therapy sessions.
It’s not going to come from some special person who offers you the secret to life.
This is what other well meaning people, services, and that book or blog you just read want you to think.
I’ve got an alternative…
The life you want is going to come from YOU. You being willing to explore, know, and understand who you really are and then being willing to act on the impressions you receive.
I’d love to help you understand who you really are and create a life in balance.
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